Those moments of not finding the right word

I have to admit it now, it is enough of ups and downs. It has been now four years that I am aware of my children diagnosis, Autism. One is high functioning and the other one more severe, in face he is not verbal yet. We have been through many things and we still do but something happened which made me more lets say, complicated.

I always wanted to be a good father. Not just good, great one. One that I never had. My father is a man twisted with his pride and ego and even he is a kind man, he never could see beyond his pride so he never had a connection with me. That connection was lost long long ago and still missing and I am not sure even if comes back one day. When I found out about my children diagnosis, all those dreasm were kind of gone. Feeling that I might never have that connection with them. It was really hurtful. But now my older son goes to school and he is doing good. One of the things that we do every day is that I come home and together, me and my son, will take our dog out for a walk. We, me and my wide, do lots of trainings with my son on how to speak, how to express and how to share and autistic children have a problem with tone and voice and also how deal with other people. Therefore there are many situations that they get bullied or hurt by the others.

Me and My oldest son.

We ask our son usually to tell us everything about his day with more details as he could. Usually he tells about general thing with no real specific but yesterday he told me about a child in the school who was in his words “Unkind, not nice” to him and was intimidating him by a stick and also hit him in the face. I wanted to do something but I did not know what. There was a sense of anger in the beginning and then the rush and heat of blood to my face. Then I tried to more and asked my son more detailed questions. I asked him did you tell to your teacher?

“No.“

“Did you tell any one else in the school?“

“No.“

What did you do then?

“I poited my finger and told him: Don’t you dare.“

and what happened after?

“He let me alone and left.”

Then I felt very twisted. There are things to be done and mails to be send and the meetings to be held. But he defended himself in a very civilized way. Not by hitting and screaming as he used to. It was a great progress. And he made a nice connection with me and shared it to me as the way it was and it felt so good. I never had such a relation with my father. Here is the complication part.

I was hurt and angry for why they let him in the school to be subject of such aggression while they know his special needs. I felt good about his progress. I felt awesome that he could share himself and then I was sad that I never had such a relation with my father and then I was happy to be such a father for my son.

Last night when I wanted to go to sleep, I told myself this:”No matter how bad things might be in life or in wrong direction, there is always something to cheer you up and fill you with joy and happiness.” I told this sentence to myself and cried myself to sleep. Not knowing if I am happy or sad. Then next day I told my wife about it and I will talk to school special education head about this. But still, this is a very complicated case.

Be happy always and be kind to other. Life is not worth having bad feelings at all.

NBC and Ann Curry Red Carpet Event for Ahmadinejad

There was a very disturbing report on NBC from Tehran. Ann Curry some how finds access to record daily work and life of Mahmud Ahmadinejad. Surely NBC finds it very interesting to get such highly restricted access and it is very hard to debate such documented pack of lies but at least we have to use means necessary to warn them about the trap they are in.

Upon the starting point, Ann Curry puts on narration on Ahmadinejad daily work out and exercise and puts his jogging as “Rocky Style”. All the sources close to Ahmadinejad know that he is not a man of exercise, he never does that but this scenario has been calculated and shaped in detail to put a ordinary human face to Ahmadinejad who his comments and provocative positions had been know for last six years.

Then the report claims that Ahmadinejad goes to his office to check the local news papers. Dear Ann Curry, there are no free, objective and independent paper in Iran for last seven years. Apart from that, there is a team in presidential office which start working very early by 3:00 o’clock every morning. They monitor all press and pack it in 20 pages so it could be faxed to president by 6:30 in the morning. President never sees any paper in his office. Specially Ahmadinejad whom according to his close friends “never reads a paper and never uses internet”.

And the bizarre thing happens on show off trips. Ann Curry asks Ahmadinejad: “Why you are in a poor neighborhood in Iran”? as if Ann knows all neighborhoods there, but then Ahmadinejad replies: “I want well being for all people, every where.” Logically and professionally, Ann should ask right away: “so why you want to wipe some people off the map of the earth?” or: “What about Neda who was killed right in front of camera and there was not even a single legal proceeding to find her killer who obviously runs around free?”

But no. Ann Curry and NBC and busy with their red carpet for Ahmadinejad. I would like to believe it was a miscalculation on network and what they have done but it could be very naive also. Surely Ann and NBC know that Ahmadinejad tries to prepare his arrival to NY for UN Assembly and surely he is planning to win the hearts and minds for release of two US citizen in Iran who are in jail.

NBC joins Ahmadinejad to a best piece of propaganda ever in recent history of Iran. As if Nazis were trying to show that Hitler was vegetarian. A malicious lie which was made up to put a human face on a mass murderer.

I am happy that I am not watching NBC and I am so sorry that pack of lies like this, well crafted and made, fed to American people. so sad to watch NBC is doing something for Ahmadinejad who no one could possibly do in Iran.

Shame on you all NBC network. Shame on you all. You are disgrace to the world of journalism.

See the video here.

The price of Syria for Iran

This is the text of my last article for Die Zeit. I tried to see the fate of Syria and how Iran might think about cutting a deal over the change which is under way. Iranian delegation even met in Paris with Syrian opposition. The fact is, if you want Syria go, Iran should let syria go.

Es war eine Zäsur in der iranischen Außenpolitik: Kürzlich mischte sich Irans geistlicher Führer Ajatollah Ali Chamenei mit einer bemerkenswerten Aussage in die aktuellen Entwicklungen der arabischen Welt ein. Chamenei, der das letzte Wort im Staate hat, riet den für ihre Rechte eintretenden Demonstranten: "Lasst nicht zu, dass der Westen die Umbrüche und Ereignisse im Mittleren Osten und Nordafrika für sich beansprucht." Damit gab er sein Plazet für Veränderungen in der Außenpolitik Teherans.

Read the rest here or click on the link below:

http://www.zeit.de/politik/ausland/2011-09/iran-syrien

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